Saturday, September 24, 2011

Becoming an adult: the foreign student way.

One of the things that will help ANY kid turn into an adult is living as a foreign student. Really.

I will bet a whole dollar on this subject.

Take any snobby, rich, pompous teenager and throw him/her into the hands of the real world, without any help from mommy or daddy, and I do mean any sort of help: no clean laundry, no warm bed, no good food, no clean house, no NOTHING.

Let's start a sort of description of what could occur to our test subject: Timmy.

Timmy is a teenager that thinks his life is perfect because he has his own room, with a LED TV, a king sized bed, an Xbox 360, PS3 and Nintendo Wii, and every cool stuff and gadget you can imagine.
But there is a catch to this perfect life: test subject Timmy has never worked in his entire life, never helped mom with the house chores, never asked dad about car issues or money administration, never helped out his sister with cooking, never done any good thing or had to work to get all those things, making him take things for granted.

But what is THAT on the table test subject? Is that a letter from the community college accepting you? GREAT! Let's begin your new journey into adulthood!

Part 1: Moving.
Test subject Timmy will have to move to another city, 4 hours away from home. He thinks "Perfect, now my parents won't be able to check on me every single second of my life! I will finally be free and will be able to do ANYTHING I WANT!"

Test subject Timmy packs his three consoles, his fancy leather jacket, 20 bazillion jeans and t-shirts, and his awesome LED TV. But, what's that Timmy? You can't afford rent by yourself and you'll have to live with another three dudes? And share a room with one of them? FANTASTIC! The closet is not big enough? You'll have to keep most of your stuff inside the luggage bag? Awwwww, that's too bad!
What's that now? Your new roomies never heard of deodorant? Awww, TOO BAD!

Part 2: Sharing a bathroom.
So, you finally settled in and managed to fit all your stuff in the tiny 4x4 room you share with your gorilla roomate that smells funny and sleeps naked.
Now it's time to take a bath and get ready for your first day at college! FUN!
But, what's that? There is somebody in the bathroom and someone else is in line! And your class starts in 20 minutes!?! BUMMER!!

You finally get inside the bathroom, with only 5 minutes left, and SURPRISE SURPRISE! Facial hair EVERY WHERE! Now you're missing your clean bathroom that your dear mommy used to take care of, right?

Part 3: Food.
Living as a foreign student can be either thrilling and fascinating, or scaring and overwhelming. Room and bathroom times are not the only thing you have to share. Food is a whole different matter.
Test subject has bought his favorite cereal and places it near the refrigerator. Test subject Timmy leaves to school and later comes back to see his EMPTY cereal box.... WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED TO IT?!?

Apparently, test subject Timmy does not know the basic rules of sharing a house with three other dudes: NEVER LEAVE YOUR SPECIAL FOOD IN PLAIN SITE. Period.
Not only will other people eat it and blame the others, but they will also either burn or throw away food at any sort of whim.
Lesson learned.

Part 4: Paying bills and rent.
Test subject Timmy gets 500 dls per month to pay rent, bills, buy food, school materials, etc etc. But test subject Timmy forgets that mommy and daddy also have to pay for other stuff, and decides to waste his money on parties and alcohol and cool clothes (which don't fit in his tiny closet) to look good for college girls.
What's that? You and your roommates forgot to turn off the lights and the electric bill exploded? And you don't have enough money?
What ever will you do, Timmy? You called your parents and they said that you are on your own because they are still paying for that LED TV you have in your room (that just broke because your gorilla roommate accidentally pushed it over with this schoolbag) and now you're stuck? TOO BAD! I guess you'll have to sell your Xbox. BOO-HOO!
Lesson learned!

Part 5: Laundry.
Test subject Timmy never helped his mom or even took the time to ask about laundry issues. So now, he is stuck with his two-week-old clothes. What's that Timmy? You don't have enough money to pay for two washing machines? What's the worst thing that could happen you ask, if you put all your clothes in one single machine? Let's see!

Oh noes! All of your white clothes have been replaced by some weird pink, blueish clothes? And your socks and underwear seem smaller? Awwww, TOO BAD! You are wishing you helped out your mom more often? Yes, YOU SHOULD HAVE!

Part 6: Sickness.
You were out all night while it was raining because you forgot your keys and your roommates were out? And now you are sick? Aw, poor test subject Timmy. You are wishing for your parents or sister to be here to take care of you and make you a warm soup?

But they can't be here, they live FOUR HOURS AWAY! What's that? You never knew how much they did for you? Good for you to notice. Maybe you should give them a call and tell them that, after you pay your telephone bill.

Part 7: House cleaning.
So, you have managed to live a whole month with your obnoxious roommates that have their music very loud until 3am, not letting you sleep and making you remember about all those times your dad told you to turn your music off............. Good old dad, you sure miss him now, don't you?
But you don't live with him anymore... nope. Now you have come to realize that you have new roommates: cockroaches.

Yes, apparently they will come to visit your house every time it's dirty and, let's face it, living with three dudes, that's almost every day.
You've never seen a broom or any sort of cleaning supplies. What do you do? Look it up on Google! GOOD FOR YOU! (kinda sad, but at least you are using the technology for another purpose other than copying essays and looking up at certain type of pictures or videos).

Part 8: The discovery.
Congratulations! You have finally realized all the things that your parents did for you without getting anything in exchange, other than your love as a son. You give your parents a call and thank them for everything, as well as asking them for tips, tips that a couple of weeks ago you would have hated, but now adore and listen to with care and wonder.
Test subject Timmy is now capable of handling a house, paying bills, doing his own laundry, and taking care of his own life.

Seriously, becoming a foreign student is the only (or fastest) way to become an adult. Been there, done that. Try it out, you won't regret it.

And if it doesn't work, well, you win a whole imaginary dollar! :D


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Easy Win, Flawless Victory Blog by Mariel Garcia is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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