Bachelorette parties and Terraria

I was talking to some of my friends who are getting married or already are, and they were talking about how much fun they had during their bachelorette parties, which I honestly don't have any idea why they have them. I mean, you aren't going to die or anything, you're not moving away (if you are, then fine, but just call it a "farewell party" or something), and you are definitely not going to stop seeing your friends and family.

Anyways, whilst we were (woohoo for alliteration... is it? I forget...) talking about their parties, they asked me:

Friend: Omigosh! Did you have fun?
Me: (awkward)..... Uhm.... Sure.
Friend: What did you like the most?
Me: (even more awkward) Uhm.... everything?
Friend: (sparkly eyes) I'm so glad! Because I just loved it! Specially the wrap the bride with toiler paper! The dresses where so original!


Can you tell I was bored out of my mind? No? Well, I was. I'm not saying that it wasn't nice or pretty, I'm just saying it's not exactly MY kind of fun.
MY kind of fun involves video games, or comics, or movies, or a combination, or all of them.

Now, to the guys who read this blog, you are about to learn what goes on in bachelorette parties.

For starters, there are two kinds of bachelorette parties: the "good" one and the "bad" one.


THE GOOD ONE:

A lot of women (all ages) get together to talk, drink and eat. Usually there will be large tables for groups of 10 women to sit together (even if they don't know each other) to talk and work together as a team during the bridal games.
Bridal games usually are:
1) Dress the bride with toilet paper.
2) Play bridal bingo, with images with sexist stuff like "broom", "dish washer", "baby", "cook", "oven",  "meal", "soap", "mop" and all the rest of things that women are supposed to do, work with or take care of.
3) Match the words, where you're supposed to match the alike words together (also, sexist stuff, like "foot-massage", "cook-his-dinner", "wash-the-dishes", but I never see any "tell-your-husband-to-get-out-of-the-couch-and-help-you-clean" sentence, because apparently we are still in the mid 30's and women aren't allowed to work).
4) Write a cooking recipe for the future bride-to-be (and I only know one, so I always stick to that one).

The games aren't that bad really. What I really hate is the small-talk you are forced to have with complete strangers.

Good thing I have a smart phone. I can be on Facebook or Twitter or Safari. If I didn't, I'd be lost. Completely lost.

Another thing the "good" bachelorette parties have is music. Music I usually don't know the lyrics to or can't dance to (that's actually my fault... I'm not such a good dancer. Every time I try to dance, I look like Johnny Bravo).



Crappy games, I can take. Small-talk, I can deal with it.
But there is nothing worse than complete strangers forcing you to play "naughty games".

THE BAD ONE:

I am not sexy nor wild or any of the sort; I don't go to bars or discos, I don't drink, I don't smoke. Fun for me is staying at home playing a video game or renting a movie. That's the perfect win for me.
So when it comes to flirting or any sex thing, I'm stumped.

The "bad" bachelorette parties usually have a stripper (a very bad looking one too... they aren't like the ones you see on TV or movies), or sex games (using fruit and rubber stuff, okay? I don't want to explain, my mom reads this).

When those games are about to start, I usually get an emergency call or something (again, thank you smart phone with awesome apps).


HOW IT SHOULD REALLY BE ACCORDING TO ME:

1) For starters, if my friends really wanted a stripper or something, I would make him wear a Clone Trooper outfit. Make it funny, you know? Spice things up so everybody would enjoy it.

2) My kind of games would be "Okay, you have to build a house in Terraria. Find the best materials in the world and make it look really good. But be careful with the zombies 'cause they could kill your NPC's, meaning your husband. Aaaaaaand START!"

3) Music? Easy: GLEE, Michael Bublé, Coldplay, Nightwish, Angela Aki.... or something you really can't dance to, but can enjoy.

4) I wouldn't sit people randomly around. I'd make a list and cards.
"What kind of person are you?"

Make the small-talk easy for everybody, you know?

I think my idea should be used more often: it really sums up all the things women should have and do during a bachelorette party.
No one would be stuck talking with someone they don't like, it would be funny and no way near embarrassing, AND it would be different and awesome!